Sometimes I wonder about what we are doing with Ben.
Since his diagnosis of autism last November, since our knowledge of what autism is, since he started taking Prozac in April ... Ben has become a much more flexible child. His rigid OCDs are really gone. He has routines, but he is flexible for emergencies such as no electricity. Now that he is free from the OCDs that made up his day, I'm expected to put him on a rigid schedule because that is what he will have to deal with in school.
I'm under pressure to find more group activities for Ben. We could put him back into Sunday School, which was a disaster two years ago. We tried Tai Kwon Do until Ben refused to go anymore. There were problems with Ben hitting other kids there too. We did Soccer and Ben refused to go back after 2 games. We've tried Library Programs all year round and Ben refuses to even sit with the children. He sits with me, but given an opportunity to participate on his own he will do so. Pound the drums, etc. I could do more of those where there is group involvement. That might be ideal for him.
Then sending him to school were he will be teased and taunted. Where he will take the abuse from other kids then blow up and attack them. Guess who gets blamed when that happens? Been there and done that before. I keep hoping that he will be old enough, mature enough, strong enough in who he is and his abilities so that the other kids cannot take away his self esteem. I've got to make sure he is strong enough in his belief in God and himself before I send him out to confront the unbelievers.
Someone told me that they work with a guy who has Aspberger's Syndrome and that he is always so sad and wants to be included in lunch conversation, but is left a lone. I wonder if he is really sad at being left alone or if he prefers it? What would happen if high functioning Autistic people were not expected to be just like everyone else in school? What if they were allowed to have one or two good friends and were comfortable with that? If they were not under all this pressure to be healed of autism, or to learn to fake being like all the normal people ... would they not be happier? Isn't most of the pressure we are putting on our Autistic children unnecessary?
I wonder about these thing a lot ...
